Thursday, August 21, 2008

Moving back home

After a little over 4 years, we are moving back to Chennai from Gurgaon. We are sure to carry the many memories that we have had here. Many are nice and some not so nice. This is the place where we started our 'married-life'. The place where we actually set up 'our' home. Though we were slightly bewildered initially with the mall-culture, this place sure has grown on us. This is the place from where we undertook all those mini vacations and weekend getaways. There are so many tiny details that am sure we will miss in Chennai. One thing is the apartment complex that we live in here. The 'almost' private park, shops within the complex, the bohemian lifestyle...

Then there are those not-so-nice memories..which I am not going to dwell into, maybe some other day.

So, why are we moving to Chennai? To set the context, I have to tell you that we had a choice to move to the US earlier this year. After almost finalizing on it, we abandoned the entire idea due to certain circumstances. Then, middle of this year, we got to know that my husband's office is planning to open a center in Chennai. Our decision was made then. Both our parents live there. We thought (and still think!) it would be good to go and spend time with them again.

It sure is going to be a huge change for us. Though it is the city where we were born and spend the initial 20 odd years... the city has changed so much recently and still maintains some of its complexities. Having parents so close is surely a comforting factor, but there still might be that extra little interference that we hope to avoid. Hope things settle smoothly.

There is some kind of heavy feeling in my heart. Is it apprehension ? anxiety? pain? Exhaustion? fear?, Guilt??
Surely a combination of everything. Anxious - that things should be smooth, Pain - thinking of those terrible memories, Exhausted - With all the moving/packing, fear - of over interference and ability to adjust, Guilt - because of harbouring those fears!

I really want to be in a happy frame of mind. Put the past behind and look positively towards the future.

I am not sure if you can comprehend what am trying to say, but writing all this down is helping me sort things out within my mind.

So, there, we look forward to starting our life in Chennai.