Thursday, November 25, 2010

Shameless appeal for sympathy

Am sure what I am going to write is what most Moms experience, but I am so exhausted that I am turning to blogger for some sympathy. But given the dwindling readership, I don't hope to get any. Nevertheless, I will write.

Given that I was on bed rest throughout pregnancy and somewhat limited movement after delivery for close to 5 months, my body is somewhat weak. But now, there has been a sudden increase in the amount of work that I need to do everyday. And my system is protesting.

To begin with, I work from home. That will make many of them say 'Oh! She's lucky'. And yes, lucky I am. I don't deny that. I get to see my baby whenever I want, feed her, bathe her, play, cuddle, pacify and do all that I want, whenever I want. That is the only plus.

The company I work for is good enough to let me work from home. Does not define a start and end time of day. As long as I complete my work, they are fine. This is true even for employees working from office site. However, I seem unable to do even the basic work that I am supposed to. I feel terribly guilty that I am taking advantage of these facilities and not giving back my full to them.

Because, I need to manage house, cook and clean, do laundry and somewhere in between all this I need to work.

When people hear 'work from home' they conveniently forget the 'work' part and think am just 'home'! They don't realize I still need to do the same amount of work, attend calls, prepare charts and all that stuff people do in office. Am neither doing justice to my official duties nor am I spending hassle-free time with the baby.

I should really be thankful that Baby S is such a non-fussy and happy baby. She is really not a trouble at all to manage. But there is a minimum that she needs right? Like, feed her on time, change her soiled diapers, play and hold and rock her softly
to sleep. On most days she eats her food properly. On certain days she takes a while and my sub-conscious starts to agitate... 'have I been away from desk for long?'
The moment my mind starts wandering, I lose focus on feeding her and try to rush. And I really hate myself for doing that.

I do have a support system to take care of the baby... but I still do most of the feeding, cleaning/changing bit. I love to do it. I don't see it as a chore. Just that I feel guilty thinking am doing that on office time. It is so frustrating that at times I seriously think of quitting work.

There are Stay at home moms and working moms. Are there some 'working from home' moms out there? How do you manage your time? What am I doing wrong? Your suggestions are most welcome.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Busy day

A busy day at desk today. 8 out of 15 blogs in my reader had a post today :-)

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

Updates on Baby S

Hello there, hope all you people are doing good. I just thought of doing a general update on Baby S.

She is becoming more and more naughty and playful. Previously it was very easy to distract her, but now she demands toys that we hide or remove from her. The reason being her 'toys' are not things that we approve like Plastic cover, newspaper, battery charger, camera, clothes (specifically the bottom part of any dress that accumulates the maximum dirt)!! Her own set of playthings are all neatly kept in a big bag and are not touched by her!

She loves to be cuddled and fondled.

She loves to remove her dad's specs and play with it.

Whenever C brings her near me, she has this most mischievous look on her face and gives a big grin before leaping to pull my hair :-))

She loves to bite my chin. She does that even in her sleep, when I am rocking her on my shoulder :-))

She loves listening to music. She also loves my singing to her. Her favorites are the A B C Song, Nila Kaigiradhu, Karpagavalli nin Por Padangal, If you are Happy and you know..., Aarumo Aaval and few more.

She listens to C playing guitar and more importantly blesses the guitar every time before he plays :-) She very cutely taps the guitar 2-3 times and then C is ready to play :-)

She also likes her thatha (grandfather) to sing Poonaikum Poonaikum Kalyanamam and Kalyana Samayal Saadham.

Overall she is a very happy baby (touch wood) and brings so much happiness to people around her.

Btw, there is a team outing planned in C's office in a resort near Mahabalipuram. We are tempted to take baby S along. But the thought of managing her in the car for close to 2 hours is making me very anxious. Because she gets very restless after 15 minutes or so and starts wriggling and moving about. Feeding her is also very difficult as she keeps twisting and turning :-)

So, here is a question to all the wise parents out there. How good is a car seat? Is it a good investment to make? Is it useful? Please do let me know so that we can come to a decision on it.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Happy Navrathri

A very happy Navrathri to you. I hope everyone is having a very joyous and festive week.

Navrathri or Golu as we call it, is such a fun, colorful and social occasion. Constructing the steps, decorating them with festoons, arranging the dolls, creating a theme park, eating 'sundal', visiting houses and seeing their golu... it's all one action packed week.

For the last several years, we (i.e my parents) have been constructing the Padi (Steps) for Golu, using makeshift items like the dining table, other assorted side tables, heavy law books and even stacks of newspaper. It is a back breaking job but when finished it gives an immense satisfaction.

This year C & I bought them the slotted angle iron steps. Assembling them too took a lot of work, but it was relatively simpler. Having broken from the tradition of building steps, I was very skeptical on how these iron steps would look... but fortunately it still looks very conventional and nice.

We were invited to a lot of houses for Golu and on Sunday decided to visit them all. So long, we haven't taken Baby S out a lot... except for nearby temples. But on Sunday she had a outing for close to 4 hours. It must have felt like a world tour to her. She thoroughly enjoyed the new experience and looked at us as if asking 'Why didn't you guys take me out earlier ?' :-)

She also doesn't seem to be bothered much meeting new people. She was pretty happy whoever was carrying her and kept looking at all the lights and dolls with curiosity. She even charmed people with her baby talk and sounds :-)

When I went to bed close to midnight that day, I had such a happy feeling in my heart. I was so happy that I just could not sleep and kept smiling. I couldn't help thinking back on those many many days when I was crying and feeling miserable. I really have to be grateful for what has been given to me. C & I keep reminding ourselves that we have to become better persons so that we can give the best to Baby S.

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Thursday, September 16, 2010


I complained about somebody when that somebody was not around. Something that I hate doing. I feel very ashamed and there is a sick feeling in my stomach. Why couldn't I control my vile thought? Few minutes of anger and frustration and hour long ruefulness.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

The Pregnancy Story

I guess it is high time I introduce our little joker to the blog world. She will be called Baby S. She is 4 months and 3 weeks now. Getting naughtier and playful as the day goes. It is all such a wonderful experience. I can't help thinking back at the happenings of 2008. That baby (we call it fountain) made sure we get baby S. We always feel fountain is taking care of his sister, whatever she does.

There is so much to write actually. I am not even sure where to begin. My pregnancy was filled with moments of absolute terror and anxiety as well as many moments of happiness and delight. It was all such a roller coaster of emotions. Let me just begin right away.

*What follows next is a very open account of what we went through with some graphic details. I am writing this because I hope it will help someone, somewhere. So, please bear with me.*

On 1st August 2009, I did a home pregnancy test. C had gone to his guitar class and I didn't know if I should call him right away. I decided to wait till he returned and announced it to him first. He was so excited and we repeated the test once or twice again! We also got a blood test done to confirm it. Then started the doctor visits. We had, by chance, taken a prior appointment with the doctor somewhere in the middle of Aug. Went and had the first scan. Things seemed normal.

By that time, we informed both set of parents. Everyone was very happy and at the same time apprehensive.

Week 12 - I had an attack of cold and cough with mild fever. It lasted for almost a week but fortunately the cough was not as bad as it was last time. It was also the season of Swine Flu! I was petrified at the thought of going anywhere near anyone who sneezed. Even the doctor visits during this time was very stressful. When a lady nearby coughed, I was hesitant to get up and walk away. Thought it might seem very rude. I casually turned my face the other way and simply covered my nose/mouth.

Week 14 - Past mid-night. I got up to use the loo and passed some clots and had some bleeding and spotting. I don't know how I didn't faint. I just called C. Cried and hugged him. We were just terror stricken. Didn't know what to do. Called the duty-doctor and she just asked me to lie down with my legs slightly elevated. We rushed to the doctor in the morning. They did a scan and said I had a low lying placenta and advised bed rest. They asked me to come 2 weeks later for a cervical cerclage.

Week 14 to Week 16 - I was just a bundle of nerves. I used to get up from bed only to use the loo. I didn't even have a proper bath those weeks.

Week 16 - I had the cerclage done.

Week 17 - I started having some foul smelling discharge. I was mentally so drained. We again rushed to the doctor. Again, there was a moment of absolute terror. The junior doctor who examined me, went to consult the senior doctor. When she returned, she abruptly asked me to 'go the labor ward!' I was aghast. Had something gone terribly wrong? I just leaned on my mother and tears started pouring down my face. I was so weak that I couldn't walk. C went to talk to the doctor and was relieved when all that they wanted to do was clean up the infection. After a day's stay at the hospital, we came home. From then on, I just took one day at a time. Was on complete bed rest.

C and my mother took absolute care of me. They even held a mug for me to brush my teeth and spit out. Had only sponge bath. Got up only to use the loo. I even had food on the bed. I was terrified to sleep. I was terrified to turn from one side to the other. I was terrified to lift a cup of water. I was JUST TERRIFIED. All that I did was to pray. Listen to devotional songs. Read books.

C did a wonderful thing by enrolling in a local library here. I was too scared to even read heavy stuff. I wanted something light and simple. He got me Enid Blyton's collection. Secret Seven, Famous Five, Five Find-Outers, The Adventure Series, The Naughtiest Girl series, The Malory Towers Series, The St.Claire's Series... It was such fun to read them. It might seem a funny thing for such a grown up person to read, but it really really helped me All these kept me occupied, peaceful and calm.

Week 24 to Week 28 - I was most scared during this period. I somehow wanted to cross week 28. I was told that chances of delivering and saving a baby was more once you cross this threshold. I just took one day at a time. Kept praying hard.

Week 32 - Consulted doctor and he was satisfied with the progress. Had the 'Seemandham and Valaikaapu function'.

Week 36 - Good progress and the doctor asked me start walking about. Was also allowed to sit on the floor, though I never did that. I never bent my knee for those 40 weeks!

My due date was March 30th. The doctor asked me to come on the 29th, Monday and get admitted. I never had any false labour pain. Spent that weekend as usual. Packed the bag and got ready on Monday. Visited the temple on our way to the hospital.

10 AM: Removed the cerclage. And ruptured the membranes.

12 PM: Started having slight pain and was asked to walk about.

3 PM: Intense pain and contractions

6.11 PM: Baby S arrived :-)

Usually people write a labour story. But for me, the journey through pregnancy was the most difficult part. Somehow, I really didn't feel the 'pain' of delivery. The baby and almighty made sure that for all the anxiety and mental tension that we underwent for those 9 months, I had a very smooth normal delivery.

It has been such a ride. So many emotions. So much of tension. So much of happiness. During all these times baby fountain was always in our thoughts. He still is.

There is one important thing that I must write about. And that is the constant support that I received from this person. Timepass, I shall never forget your help, your concern, your prayers. I take it as providence, that I got to know you. And nothing I do will ever repay what you gave me. But as a small gesture, when the priest asked for 3 names for the baby, for one of her names, we named Baby S after you :-)

I will write another post detailing what all precautions I took. The medications. Power of positive thinking. And so much more that helped me. Hoping this helps someone else, somewhere.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Hello there

Finally I get to write something on my poor neglected blog.

I joined work couple of days back and got my laptop. Had to configure and set it up...that took a couple of days... just slowly getting used to the routine.

Expecting to be fairly regular with my posting now.

See you all soon.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Arrival of Our Baby Girl

I hope the few readers of my blog still check for updates.

We are delighted to announce the arrival of our baby girl, born on 29th March.

The last 9 months or so have been such an emotional roller coaster. I have so much to write and share. So many people to thank and be grateful. I hope to start posting them slowly.

Till then,